eyes fixed

And just like that, it's a new year!

And I've already failed the sensitivity test!  (Might as well get it out of the way early...)

I was talking with a friend yesterday, and, as is the case for many this time of year, I could tell she was flirting with the melancholy.  She was feeling all The Big Feelings and thinking Many Big Thoughts associated with year-end.  

Now I tend to veer quite far from melancholy-ville, and (unfortunately) my response was to Reign it in, Sally!  There might have been a "Danger, Will Robinson!" thrown in* for good measure as I blithely reminded her that New Year's is "just another day."  (And while that's true, I'm pretty sure I was zero help to her at the time.  Oops!)


Yes, another(!) year has come and gone, and yes, there was a fair amount of hard and it looks a lot like nothing much has changed.

Here we are at 2015 and there is still precious little money, energy, or time.  The hard things are still the hard things.  Treasures lost are still long gone and "triumphs" sometimes seem few, so when we sit down and analyze the previous 365 days they can look more "eh" than "yippee!!"

However, in my humble opinion, we just need to look through the right lens :)


Alas, there is still precious little money, time, and energy, but I'm here to tell you that every single day God provided every single thing I needed...

...and yes, I suppose being alone could lean toward lonely, but, well, I wasn't :)  Because every single day God plopped down beside me & pulled me close.  He listened to me bellyache about this & that and he forgave me for my many trips & falls along the way.
 What He never did was leave me all alone.

Of course I get tired, and I wish 2014 had delivered a new car, and I hope that 2015 will be the year for that Very Awesome Vacation (#fingerscrossed!)...and I certainly have twinges of regret for all the projects I failed to complete, the people I failed to love properly, and the person I failed to be, but through every single failure on my part He remains faithful.  

He is enough.  

He is everything.

(And He loves me!)


So this I know, through firsthand experience...Resting in Him, relying on Him, and praising Him for all He does and Is, through each of my days, makes for the very happiest of years! 


"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 


Happy New Year :)


*name that show!

ripple effects

So I'm just going through my day today, minding my own business and blowing my nose, and Bam! I realize that once again a marriage has crumbled and people are left scrambling to pick up the pieces.


This comes after recent months, when marital breakdown has once again hit hard and personally within my own family, and y'all I'm not going to lie.  I am so, so, very tired of it.


I remember years ago, as I was beginning to heal from my own divorce, and she sat in my kitchen in the middle of a party and casually said " yeah, my dad moved out today," and the room was spinning and I couldn't even make sense of her words.  And my heart broke right in two there at the kitchen counter.

And then, y'all, I was fired up!  I felt a personal mission to stop the certain disaster to come and I begged and pleaded and warned and wept on their behalf, all to no avail.

Sadly, many other families that I love followed.  Over and over I've seen spouses just give up and walk away, with little understanding of the decisions they're making and the ramifications certain to follow.


(Oh y'all, it is a hard, hard thing to know deep in your bones that a person is throwing away everything good, and they flat out will not, or cannot, believe you.)


A lot of years have passed.  My daughters are all grown up, and all around me people are still throwing in the towel, looking for something better, and destroying their beautiful, messy, precious lives.


Y'all, I know that marriage is a hard thing, and I know it can seem like anything would be better that what is right now, and calling a do-over can seem to be a best-case solution to a miserable set of circumstances, but if you want to avoid a world of hurt, and I mean a rest-of-your-life kind of hurt, please hear me...

Just... Get Over Yourself.

Because, quite frankly, the rippling effect of our decisions is much, much  bigger than one unhappy person who has decided that their happiness is more important than everyone else.

(And here's a little secret, when you walk away from your spouse,
you are throwing away a life you likely value far more than you realize right now.)

I assure you, you are trashing a lot more than a series of arguments and mounting frustration.  You don't know it yet, but you're throwing away your children's trust and sense of security (young or old), and you're trashing the future you all would have had if only you'd seen things through.

Unless you've been married for 10 minutes, you're turning away from parents-in-law and siblings and brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews, and a myriad of other relationships that inevitably die when there is a marital fracture.

This is so much bigger than rejecting your partner.  You are rejecting nearly all you had before
...and I've yet to meet anyone after the dust settles who feels the end result is worth the price you pay.


I'm not saying to live your life in defeat and misery - of course not!  That's not what God wants for any of us.  If you are truly unhappy, if your spouse is driving you nuts, or you feel stuck, do something about it, STAT!  It is very dangerous to pretend and simmer for a sweet forever until you blow sky high.  Find some help for the legitimate problems going on in your home and proactively fight for the health of your family.

For the sake of everyone you have ever loved...Keep your promises, work hard on the life you chose,
and by all means, get over yourself.



XOXO


*This message brought to you today spur-of-the-moment and mostly unedited.

*If you need to talk, give me a call or email me...

why we smile straight through the tears...

A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing;
Our helper He, amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing:
For still our ancient foe doth seek to work us woe;
His craft and power are great, and, armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.

Did we in our own strength confide, our striving would be losing;
Were not the right Man on our side, the Man of God’s own choosing:
Dost ask who that may be? Christ Jesus, it is He;
Lord Sabaoth, His Name, from age to age the same,
And He must win the battle.

And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us:
The Prince of Darkness grim, we tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure, for lo, his doom is sure,
One little word shall fell him.

That word above all earthly powers, no thanks to them, abideth;
The Spirit and the gifts are ours through Him Who with us sideth:
Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also;
The body they may kill: God’s truth abideth still,

His kingdom is forever!

*Martin Luther

 

 

beautiful words I didn't write

Donna left a few minutes ago, and I'm oh-so-glad she was here with me this weekend.  Sometimes when the sad is so big you don't want to be by yourself, even if you're me and often revel in Alone.


I thought maybe I'd catch up with you a bit, but my heart is still in Connecticut with those 20 mamas, and I guess it's just too soon for me to go on and on about Pepsi and cookies and the joyous drivel that often fills my days.


I did, however, want to share with you a few lovely reads I've found over the last couple of days. They might fill your heart up just a little bit, as they surely have mine.  
Each and every one of them is full of beautiful, glorious Hope.  (Thank you, Jesus!)
 
 
Lisa-Jo's When Parents Have Nightmares

Jamie lives in Newtown and shares here:  Newtown as I Know It

...and oh my! how Ann Voskamp brings it all home in  The Truth About Sandy Hook- Where is God When Bad Things Happen



Finally, as someone who loves so many of you sweet girls personally, might I gently suggest you join me in stepping away from the neverending onslaught of (miserable) media and embrace some quiet time praying for those 20 mamas today?



I love you and I'm not even kidding,