Signs and Symptoms of Not Being 25

You're zipping down I-581 on a bright sunny day, jamming to some completely nerdy music, and panic when you realize you aren't paying attention to the speedometer.  

and you're going 53.  


MILES PER HOUR. 



Two separate infomercials inside a 36-hour period have you reaching for both a pen and your credit card. 



You find you can't walk because the back goes out, likely because of all the limping you did because of the unexplained excruciating aggravating pain in the bottom of your foot. 



You find the above scenario completely plausible.



You and The Insomnia are on a first-name basis, and when you rise to begin your day there is an unattractive delay in assuming the upright position.



Eat a banana, gain a pound.  (Yikes!)



Happy Tuesday!