Thursday, March 31, 2011

How to spend 2 days cleaning your house and end up with an unclean house

So a few weeks ago my next-door buddy suggested it would be great FUN to do our spring cleaning together on an upcoming Saturday.  She has a carpet cleaner and I had Windex and the sun was supposed to be shining, so it seemed like a good plan in the making and I jumped on board.

A few days before Spring Cleaning Day (SCD) I even drove way across town to buy a couple of springy linens to assist me in my endeavor to rid the home of all things snowmen, AND I bought lots of paper towels and toilet bowl cleaner with bleach.  I was ready.

The plan was to ditch all things snowmen and clean any surface in my presence.  She even has a steam cleaner-thing to assist in ridding the kitchen of that grimy buildup that I like to pretend isn't there 364 days a year.


Sometime along about midnight-forty-five on Friday night before SCD I decided I really want my bedroom in the back room.  Yup.  It suddenly became imperative and important to move my room to the back with the adjoining deck and trees and summer cooler-ness. 

I made some good points to myself, so I agreed.  After springing (haha, get it ;)  out of bed at the crack of 9 I set to work ridding my living room of all things cobwebby and scrubbing windows, and evidently breaking my Roku box mid Pandora song, causing me no end of frustration and aggravation and pent-up musical stylings.

About that time Sheri dropped in to say "Quick!  We must venture forth to the great shop on the other side of town because I doth need something springy!" or something like that, so I grabbed my keys and off we went into the sunshine.  Of course we had to detour for some Mickey D's tea, but then we were off.

After spending oh, I don't know, maybe 45 minutes or so, we both had done our small part to help the economy and felt ready to head back home, so out we went.  However, we did have to pass Frank's Pizza twice on this journey, so of course PIZZA.  As we sat there munching on our favorite pizza in town and dipping those requisite fries in ketchup, and slurping (it was a sunny spring day! slurping was in order in my opinion) even more iced tea...this pretty person with her hair all pretty and her makeup all pretty walked through the door, and then I remembered.  I was in SCD mode with no intention of leaving my house or interacting with other human-type people that day.

It's all fun and games until you remember you are a WRECK of a gal and you're sitting in public not even remembering you're said wreck. 

That never would have happened in my youthful days.

We persevered and endured the humiliation as we tried to avoid eye contact with anyone entering Franks, and then we scurried home as quickly as possible. a WRECK of a house awaiting me.  I spent the rest of the day dismantling beds and desks and computer modems with routers, and it was not pretty, people.  I'm thinking it was major-ly the opposite of pretty.  Sheri dropped by at some point as I was struggling with that stupid desk that wouldn't fit through any doors invented ever and announced I needed some type of tool of which I've already forgotten the name but she had in her son's truck.  Score!  I won't even go into the tragedy and yet comedy of the two of us carrying large chunks of this very heavy desk down my narrow steps and to the street for pickup.  I will say there was much laughing and what in the world was I thinking's going on.  I was able to get my bed together and the furniture in place by dark-thirty and we then crashed in my mostly only tidy clean living room watching Harry's Law and eating taco soup from the freezer. 

The next day was spent getting the computer operational and coping with the CHAOS that had become my life.  I got rid of the majority of the mess and upheaval and disaster-area-ness as I limped around hunched over from all the bad-back infractions I had made the day prior.

And that is how a perfectly capable adult can spend 48 hours spring cleaning and never pick up a carpet cleaner, or her neighbor's steam cleaner...or even the dadgum toilet bowel cleaner with bleach.

Happy Thursday :)


Mrs. Stam said...

Life happen sometime, are you trying to to it today?

Renee said...

yes, it does, Renee, and I'm trying to embrace the life part of the process more than I used to. This is definitely a win some/lose some project :)

I've been spreading the cleaning-love out over time :) Since I was away some last week I must confess I haven't made a lot of progress. The chaos is gone but...

I AM happy to report that one of my two bathrooms is shiny/squeaky clean! I'll get there eventually :)

Lauren said...

I totally understand. And your post was entertaining. At least you got some springy linens and a newly located bedroom!

Renee said...

Way to be a bright-side thinker Lauren :) Love ya - have a good day!

One hip chick said...

You are too funny!!!! I always get a laugh from your blogs. Love ya.

Drew & Kari said...

Next time call me... I probably wouldn't help with the heavy desk, but I would have loved to videotape/snap pictures in order to complete your lovely blog ;)

Renee said...

I love you too, HC!!

Kari Beth you are such a kind daughter...always ready to mock and encourage all at the same time. Next time I'll give you a call!

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