You know that old joke we Christians make -"Be careful when you pray for patience because God just might answer you"?
My life is kinda like that lately. Except in my case I have, in fact, been praying for purpose-filled days, and He has definitely been answering with all manner of WONDERFUL!
Over the last year or so I'm finding myself increasingly unsettled deep in my bones, so to speak, with a growing sense of needing to do...more. or at least different.
When discussing my BIG DECISION with friends the other day, one of them (I love ya Sweetie!) said "Renee I think you're doing enough." I understand her sweet protective heart and what she was trying to say to me, but when boiling it all down can a Christ-follower every truly do "enough?"
What does "enough" look like?
I have no idea. All I know is I haven't done it yet. I'm pretty sure when I have I'll recognize it and shake it's hand and maybe hug its neck.
(I suspect "enough" is just about the time I walk straight into Jesus' arms, and oh won't that be just wonderful?!!)
Anyhoo, for now I know I'm not there. I suspect I'm not even close to there.
...so I keep asking God to reveal my selfishness, and greed, and laziness, and insensitivity to others' needs, and open me up to being MORE for His kingdom.
Five months into 2012 I find myself increasingly dissatisfied with all the stuff I have that I don't use, the time I have that I don't share, and the space I have that often lies empty. I use every reserve of time and energy I do have just to keep my head above water, and it's not exaggeration to say everything I have goes into just getting through another month.
Maybe it's just me, but this feels like terrible stewardship of what God has given me.
At church we talk about being good stewards of our time, our treasure, and our talents. I'm thinking my time, the things I treasure, and the talents God has given me can be better spent.
And that, my friends, is why my sister and her family, and I, are all moving into a new (very old) house together!
We have talents and gifts to share, and we also have burdens that we can ease for each other, which sounds like some good stewarding to me ;)
And as a bonus, as I've been thinking (obsessing!) this last week, and I've had a revelation of sorts...
Living with the gang, I guess I'll be a cross between Grandma Walton and Aunt Bea and Uncle Charlie with a hint of Alice. (Or perhaps more like Uncle Jessie? He was pretty cool what with playing with the Beach Boys and all.)*
(*Ten points if you can Name! Those! Shows!)
I digress. The point is, I'll have their backs and they'll have mine. And I'm alternating between FREAKING OUT and, well, not.
Which seems just about right :)
I'll share more of my thoughts and feelings and what-have-you later. (Sorry!) But for now let me repeat a quote I've used here before...
"Tragedy is when we forfeit eternal treasure for earthly trinkets."
Lord, may my life be trinket-free...